A Second Life

The letter, addressed to the P.O. Box she had given him, bore his real name, his First/Real Life identity. She could almost hear her heart, thumping wildly, pumping fear into her stomach. Her hands shook and tiny beads of sweat gathered on her upper lip as she contemplated which way she would run - how fast, how far, how soon. But, she caught the breath she held - let it out, breathed it in. Slowly.

The author of the letter was her virtual lover. A lover with whom she embraced a heady sense of adventure, explored the nuances of feeling, reveled, at last, in the surety of being. They met innocently enough in a SecondLife dance club when they were both relatively newborn. She was drawn to him on sight. The palette of color he had chosen for his avatar, vivid crimson reds, soothing earth greens and lucious locks of blinding white, was electric and magnetic and comforting. But, she came to realize it was the delight they shared in the virtual freedoms of a new life, that was their true common ground. The magnet that pulled each to the other.

SecondLife was a potpourri of freedom in every imaginable flavor and shape and size with a myriad of colors to pick and choose from as one would. In the virtual landscape that was SecondLife, their ties to First/Real Life were loosened and everyday existence became less stringent, less pressing. SecondLife removed the bindings of morality and the burdensome judgements of Self and civilized society. Gave them the wherewithal to explore without fear or boundary, places and people, thoughts and ideals and, yes, the secret hopes and stifled passions of their own sexuality! Of course, it was exploration of the latter that led them to intimacies she never should have dared, even in the supposed safety of a virtual world.

Because, now, he hunted her.

Hadn't she tried to tell him? Hadn't she hinted at her joy in reveling in a freedom she had never before known? In the virtual world, she had never been damaged. Her avatar had not known men who inflicted their will on her or succeeded in shaping her thoughts about her Self, her Worth, her Value. And, even though her virtual lover apologized for subjecting her to this new intimacy, this revelation of his First/Real Life name, he had already betrayed her. He took her trust and tossed it aside, as carelessly as he might have a condom, used and spent and worthless.

His need. His desire. It was all that mattered. What she wanted ... what she had asked for ... what they had agreed to ... meant nothing.

She glanced again at the fallen letter and realized that SecondLife, despite its freedoms, was fraught with as much danger as First/Real Life. Sighing aloud, the weight of her own breath heavy in her chest, she stepped out of the pool of sunlight and headed for her office.

This time, she wouldn't run.