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WELCOME |
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On the Street Where I Live
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| Biddy, Giddy and Middy |
Biddy |
I heard she beat that old man. Kept him locked up and beat him regular. |
Middy | Goodness, why would anybody want to do that? |
Giddy | I heard she kept him locked in the basement with a talkin' parakeet. |
Biddy | Giddy, parakeets cain't talk. Ever'body knows that. Hmpf. Parakeets cain't do nothing but whistle. This here bird could talk. T'was a real poll parrot, I hear. Come all the way from Africa. Name was Stony Bird. |
Middy | She was a friend of yours then? |
Biddy | No, she weren't no friend of mine. Just 'cause somebody know a little bit 'bout somebody don't mean..." |
Giddy | Now ... Biddy... |
Middy | So ...if you don't mind my asking ... how did you come to know the bird's name? |
Biddy | I come to know 'cause I listen and when I listen, I pay attention. Unlike some folks. Why don't you pass me over that basket of beans. Look like you be all day trying to shell 'em. Where you say you from again? |
Giddy | Oh, leave her be, why don't you, Biddy? Everybody cannot shell fast as you and me. Now, go on tell us how you found out the name of that bird. |
Biddy | Hmpf. Petey and Little Bit. |
Giddy | Biddy ... I know for a fact that woman didn't 'low no children in her house ...? |
Biddy | Hmpf. She let the Bread Man in, didn't she? He got kids and I got kids. Don't take much more'n that now, do it? |
Giddy | Ha! You right as rain 'bout that, Biddy. You sho is! And, you know, I heard he used to tell on him. |
Middy | Tell on who? The Bread Man? |
Biddy | No, fool. That old man. Tojo. |
Giddy | Biddy! |
Biddy | Giddy, would you please stop saying my name like that? I'm sitting right here and telling nothin' but the truth. |
Middy | The Bread Man used to tell on this Tojo? |
Biddy | Lord, somebody help this chile. The bird used to tell on Tojo. Tojo used to sneak upstairs from the basement and steal food out the pantry and the bird would tell on him. |
Middy | Oh... oh, my! Do you mean she didn't feed him? |
Biddy | Now, how would I know if she fed that old man or not? |
Giddy | Biddy, come on now. You know 'bout the parrot and the sneakin', don't you? |
Biddy | Chile, all I know is what I heard and I heard ... she fed that Tojo once a day ...if she felt up to it. Gave him table scraps from the dinner table, I hear. Just like he was a old dog. Made him eat from a cold tin plate, too, with his bare hands. |
Middy | No?! |
Biddy | Yup. |
Middy | Oh, how terribly, terribly awful. But, ... why didn't he just leave? |
Biddy | Well, I don't reckon he could just leave else he prob'ly would have ... just left. Hmpf. |
Middy | But ... |
Biddy | Chile, didn't I just say, not more'n a minute ago, mind, she kept him locked up in the basement? |
Giddy | Now, Biddy. You know Middy is new around here. You got to be more gentle with new folks. |
Biddy | Hmpf. |
Middy | How did Tojo come to be with her anyway? |
Biddy | I don't absolutely know 'bout all of that but I hear she found him in the back of Barny's liquor store. |
Giddy | Barney's over on Peters Street? |
Biddy | You know another Barney's, Giddy? |
Middy | Why was he in back of a liquor store? |
Biddy | Passed out drunk like all the rest of them drunks hanging out back there 'hind Barney's in the alley. I swear, woman. You ain't left your house since you moved here, have you? |
Giddy | Biddy ... be nice. |
Biddy | Truth ain't always pretty, Giddy, and truth don't know nothing 'bout nice. Hmpf. Anyway, that old man was not the first drunk she picked up back there. So I hear. I suspect that's how she bought that filling station on Willow and that fancy new eating place over on Ray Shore Drive. |
Middy | But... how would picking up a drunk ...? |
Biddy | So she could insure 'em, what else? And, collect the money on 'em when they die. Miss Giddy, you been living in a glass bowl, have you? |
Middy | Surely, you are not serious? |
Biddy | Surely, I am. |
Middy | Mercy! |
Biddy | Oh, people in her circle do it all the time. Find old drunks that don't have no people and nobody to care about 'em. Fix 'em up enough to get by a doctor. Get all the paperwork signed and then throw 'em down in the basement with a poll parrot, feed 'em table scraps and wait for 'em to die. |
Giddy | May as well have put a gun to his head, ask me. |
Biddy | Why? Giddy, she didn't do nothing illegal. |
Giddy | Biddy, starvin' a man to death is not exactly what I call legal nor is it righteous in the eyes of the Lord. |
Biddy | Giddy, why you got to haul the Lord into every conversation? I swear. Everytime you come over here, you got to bring the Lord with you. The Lord is a a busy man. You cain't talk for yourself none? |
Middy | But, surely Miss Biddy, you don't think it right if a man has to steal food in his own house? |
Biddy | Look here, Miss Middy. I don't mean no harm but seems to me you got ears like the rest of us and you may hear like the rest of us but you surely do not listen. It was her house, not his house. It was her basement. Her food. Her bird. And, matter of fact, the bird ate better than the man. Had more rights, too, and the bird knew it. |
Middy | What do you mean? |
Biddy | I mean ... the bird had more right to BEing than the man. Sometimes, Tojo would sneak out the basement up into the pantry and he would eat like a natural man ought to eat but when that woman got home, that old bird would commence to squawking, you know, in that screechy, scratchy parrot voice, you know how parrots go, "Squaaawwk! Squaawwk! Tojo full! Tojo full! Squaawwk! Squaawwk!" And, right away, she would grab up a broom and start in after that old man and beat him bloody. |
Middy | No! |
Biddy | Yup. Sometimes when she was having company...Giddy, you know those type of men she took to? Tojo would creep up the stairs and beg food from 'em. Hold out his little tin plate and point to it 'cause she done beat the voice right out of him. But, those men would just run off, scared at the sight of him! And, I cain't say as I blame 'em. He was all crusted over with filth, eyes running nasty and him smelling like poo poo. He tried to run away a few times hisself but that old poll parrot always pecked holes in his head and shit on his toes. |
Giddy | Biddy! |
Biddy | It's the truth! And, you know for a fact if a poll parrot shit on your toes, you cannot move your feet and, I ain't got to make that up. That old man may as well sat himself down to wait for that woman to come and beat him upside his head and that is just what happened because soon as that poll parrot shit on his toes, Tojo could not move his feet and the bird went to squawking, "Squaawwkk! Squaawwkk! Tojo out! Tojo out! Squaawwkk!" I declare. You could hear that bird squawking clear down to Ray Shore Drive and the very next thing, here she come, wheeling that big old gold cadillac of hers around the corner and no sooner did she see Tojo stuck in the back yard with the parrot squawking and pecking holes in his head and shitting on his toes, than she commence to whooping that ole Tojo with a broom or whatever else she found handy. |
Middy | No! |
Biddy | Yup. I declare. Whooped that ole Tojo right back on into that basement each and every time. |
Middy | I cannot believe that one human being would treat another human being like that! |
Biddy | Hmpf. One human being did alright. But, she won't be treating no more human beings like that. |
Giddy | Praise God for the truth! |
Biddy | Giddy, what did I just tell you 'bout the Lord? |
Middy | Well, what happened? |
Giddy | Oh, let me tell it, Biddy. Please, let me tell it. |
Biddy | Go'ne, Giddy, you can tell it. But, leave the Lord out of it! He had things to do yesterday and I know He got things to do today. |
Giddy | Well. They found that bird stuffed in a roasting pan in her big, old fancy oven. She had the double dutch kind, you know, one on top and one on the bottom? I hear she had that oven imported from way over in Germany. Now, I myself, would love to have a double oven because it surely would make Sunday dinner easy and Thanksgiving would be a snap, don't you think? Not that she did a lot of cooking because everything in her kitchen was practically spanking brand new... |
Biddy | Giddy. If I give you two nickels, can you make change for a dime? |
Giddy | Well, I was just telling her about the woman's kitchen, Biddy. How you gone know somebody if you don't know about their kitchen? |
Biddy | Tell her about the kitchen some other time, Giddy. Meanwhile, I will finish up this story before we grow too old on this porch to hear the end of it. Now ... where'd you leave off at? |
Giddy | I was telling about the bird being stuffed in the fancy roastin' ... |
Biddy | That's right. Old Stony Bird was plucked clean in that roasting pan. Wings pulled off, beak carved right out of his little face, his little bird toes sticking straight up in the air like he was a fine, fat roasting hen. |
Middy | Oh, how awful! |
Biddy | But, that weren't the worst of it. No, sirree, and I'm here to tell ya. Tojo had that woman up tied up in the basement and, by the time they found him, he had been down there cutting off of her one piece at a time. Uh huh. Ain't no telling how long she stayed alive before he stuck her in that icebox to keep. |
Middy | Oh my Lord! |
Biddy | Now, here you go. Y'all will get enough of that when the lightening strikes! |
Giddy | Biddy! |
Biddy | The truth will set us all free, Giddy. Anyway, as I was saying ... Ain't no telling how long that woman was alive and being cut on before that ole Tojo put her in the deep freeze and the police found 'em but ... I suspect before that woman died ... Old Tojo got plenty full. |
Giddy | Biddy! |
Biddy | Hmpf. Plenty full. |
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